i wanna marry somebody cuter than me but sadly…i am the cutest :/
reasons I can relate to a possum:
-tired & unkempt, smells weird
-emotions ranging from “displeased” to “existential scream”
-no work ethic
-lies around looking dead when overwhelmed
-will eat trash & live amongst trash if left to own devices
-sometimes you feel bad and feed it a sandwich
make this the new meme
Trying to sleep in summer with the covers on
IVE GOTTA BONE TO PICK WITH YOU
The last kid knows what’s up.
4 and a half years difference, I finally recognise myself in the mirror.
Age 18 at my mum’s wedding in may 2010, a tough day having to wear a dress and attempt to look comfortable in it, but i got to change into a shirt and jeans after the ceremony/photos, the family had a great day so i couldn’t complain xD and then now at 2 years on testosterone and about 3 years after “coming out”.
manager: sir your resume just says “good looking and talented”
me: am I lying though?
manager: …youre right, Im sorry youre hired
my diet plan:
- make all of my friends cupcakes, the fatter they get the thinner i look